Still Coping with a Chronic Illness? Three Reasons Your Healing Remains Elusive

“Learn to ‘live’ with your anxiety.”

“Find a way to make ‘peace’ with your depression.”

“Eliminate dairy from your diet, and you’ll keep your digestive distress ‘at bay.’”

Have you been told one or all of these things before?

Over the course of my journey with various health disturbances, I’ve certainly heard them a time or two.

These remarks were intended, by well meaning folks, to give me hope that I could find a way to, “get by '' in life, even if my mental and physical challenges didn’t resolve.

The only problem was, “getting by,” was exhausting, and left me feeling a far cry from hopeful, about the days ahead.

What kind of spectacular future could I create when all my energy was directed towards keeping symptoms under control?

Take anxiety for instance.

I was trying, really hard, to “live” with my anxiety– reading academic literature on anxiety disorders, writing down inspirational texts from the Bible to recite when a flood of panic washed over me, exercising regularly, and drinking LOTS of matcha green tea.

Every day, I devoted time and mental effort to being a “good” host for anxiety.

But even with all the accommodations I provided, it wasn’t a very nice guest.

I was so tired.

Tired of the anxiety feeling like a load of bricks on my back, that I was supposed to “get used to” carrying around with me.

It was disheartening to think that this was just “how it was going to be,” forever.

Can you relate?

If you’re here, I’m going to speculate that you’re curious about whether or not your “chronic” condition has to be a permanent fixture in your life.

Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here.

And please know, if you’re able to wonder if you were meant for more than “making due” with a symptom, indefinitely, you’re already on your way to what you’re seeking: a lasting resolution of your condition.

However, oftentimes, I see women like you, get to the point of longing for more, but then find themselves stuck in the longing.

Not sure why they can’t seem to move the “healing needle” any further.

Or they might see some progress, where physical or mental concerns appear to be resolving, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, they’re sidelined by another flare up of symptoms, and sink back into doubt that full, and completely, healing is possible for them.

If you’re stuck either in longing for a permanent solution to your health challenge, or feel like it’s one step forward, three steps back, on your healing journey, you’re going to want to keep reading.

I want to show you what I’ve learned, from hearing other women’s stories, as well as through personal experience, about what often keeps healing elusive.

See if you can recognize any of the three common healing “mistakes,” below, in your own life.

Healing Mistake #1: You believe your body is broken.

Hook, line and sinker you’ve bought into the story that you’re forever an insomniac, that you “can’t” have a bowel movement without straining and pain, or you’re going to suffer from low energy and go about your days as if trudging through a muddy swamp, indefinitely.

You’ve signed off on the version of your life story where every day is a “struggle,” and have built a daily routine that accommodates this reality.

You hold to the belief that your body is “broken,” and therefore, must simply learn how to accept the “damaged” parts, for the remainder of your earth journey.

“Making peace with your ‘brokenness’,” becomes your mantra.

But if you’re honest with yourself, you’re miserable.

Because who wants to “live with” a chronic health condition of any variety?

Of course the idea of having to do so is depressing. It should be.

It’s not how you or I were designed to live.

Your body was made, and is naturally inclined, to heal and thrive.

How do I know?

What happens when you cut yourself with a chopping knife, while prepping dinner?

Your body, without you telling it what to do, jumps into healing action.

The blood clots to stop the bleeding, new skin starts growing to close the wound, and before you know it, all that’s left is a small scar (considering the cut we’re talking about is a minor one).

“Okay, but that’s just a small cut, how does it relate to something such as Hashimoto’s (a disease considered chronic, where the body makes antibodies that “attack” the thyroid gland)?”

Because if you’re body can still heal in one way, it can heal in any way. The body can’t be “broken,” and still be able to heal itself simultaneously.

“Yes, however, can’t one part of the body be ‘broken’ while other parts are functioning just fine?”

I don’t believe so. The body isn’t made of up little silos. It’s all interconnected.

Heck, I had my appendix out several months ago, an organ the western medical community regularly deems as “non-essential.”

However, immediately upon waking from surgery, I felt the emptiness in my abdominal space where it once resided.

I felt something was missing. A part of me was gone, and it affected the whole.

And it works in both directions. If one component can still perform healing magic, the rest of your body has the potential to as well.

If you can point to any healing process that is still operating smoothly, then you have evidence enough that recovery is possible in the areas that display disharmony.

An illness that appears to be chronic, doesn’t mean your body is broken.

But rather, that you have an opportunity to discover why a particular healing process is not flowing as well as the others, and support the restoration of healing energy in that space.

Healing Mistake #2: You jump from healer to healer searching for someone who can “fix” you

Do you think you’re lacking healing results because you’ve yet to find the “right” professional to “cure” you?

When you’re stuck in the belief that what’s missing is a particular specialist with the miraculous protocol to alleviate your suffering, it’s not a far stretch to assume that, in addition to your chronic condition, you’re experiencing a sense of anxiety and desperation.

After all, those are pretty high stakes.

To have to find the “one,” out of billions of people on the planet, who can “heal” you.

In fact, in all the recovery work I’ve done, for an eating disorder I experienced at the onset of adolescence, I never did find the “one” to heal me.

It’s been thirteen years.

But, I’ve healed anyway. And you can too.

Did I see a therapist? Yes! Many over the last decade. Did they heal me? No.

The “healing needle” doesn’t move until we begin to get curious about how to access the healing power within us.

When I turned my focus to surrounding myself with people and resources who supported me in drawing forward the innate healing wisdom of my own body, the disordered eating patterns dissipated, and my once complicated relationship with food, became a more loving and peaceful one.

Healing Mistake #3: You aren’t looking beyond the loudest physical/mental symptoms

Sincerely, I wish I could tell you that pain in your belly was simply due to a lack of digestive enzymes.

I wanted it to be so, in my own health-reclamation journey– for the resolution of a symptom to be a matter correcting a physical imbalance.

In fact, I still remember the first time I saw a naturopath for my extreme gastrointestinal symptoms.

He listened to my complaints, and then asked,

“Do you have emotions that you've ‘locked up’ in dark rooms, that you’re refusing to look at or let out?”

I’m not kidding. That was his question.

I was frustrated, initially.

I wanted him to simply hand me a supplement and send me on my way.

But there he was, asking me about my “emotional basement.”

However, as my journey back to gut-harmony unfolded, my eyes began to open, and my heart softened, to the idea that maybe, just maybe, I was “emotionally congested”, and it was manifesting as bowel stagnation.

I was curious,

“What might change in my physical state, if I opened some of those “locked rooms,” and got to know the previously forbidden emotions?”

And so I did.

Turns out, those emotions– regret, resentment, anger, frustration, agitation, and grief– had much to say about the way I was moving through the world.

There wasn’t one area of my life unaffected by the banishing of these feelings.

My romantic partnership, choice of career, social commitments, religious beliefs, and relationships with my family of origin were all touched.

Everything I thought I knew was turned upside down. But in the destabilizing, I had an opportunity to rebuild and re-imagine a life where I actually honored all of me.

To honor my own voice, to prioritize walking in self-integrity, and to give every emotion an opportunity to illuminate my way, were some of the greatest “cures” to my digestive ails.

My naturopath wasn’t so off base after all.

Healing requires an openness to explore beyond the obvious– physical/mental symptoms– and journey deeper.

Consider if there is an area of your life (non-physical) that feels “off,” that you’ve been avoiding addressing.

Displays of disharmony in the body often serve as a “check-engine” light, inviting you to explore the health of your relational patterns, past childhood wounds, or self-limiting beliefs.

Take your eyes off of the chronic illness, just long enough to let your soul share with you any burdens it’s carrying, and would like to unload.

Explore which of these mistakes you’ve fallen into.

Which one do you feel is holding you back the most, from experiencing the total transformation you’re seeking?

No judgment, Friend. I’ve made all the “mistakes.”

The goal is to bring awareness to the actions/mindsets that aren’t helping to facilitate your radical breakthrough, so that you can access the fullness of life you were made to experience.

It’s like the game of Chutes and Ladders, you likely played as a child.

No one likes to keep sliding “backwards” in the game of healing either.

With awareness of what the “Chutes” are in your healing adventure, you’ll spend less time backtracking, and have more energy to direct towards discovering the powerful, creative, limitless capacity within you, to experience health and vitality in abundance.

Xoxo,

-E